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attendant dominant

The Attendant Dominant is selected by the Submissive. Typically, that choice is based on trust and the competence and comfort of the Dominant to partake in the activities selected by the submissive.

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Attendant Dominant

Trust

The Submissive must trust the Dominant to proceed as directed and to stay within the stated boundaries, with any exceptions, such as pushing certain boundaries, as approved in advance by the Submissive.

 

This is important because the lifestyle is full of Alpha Males and Faux Doms, in particular following the release 50 Shades of Gray and BabyGirl.

 

Competence

There are few Jack of all Doms in the lifestyle. For example, if the Submissive is seeking Shabari, a form of intricate robe bondage, it is important they pair with Dominants with that developed that particular skill.

 

Comfort

To the contrary of popular belief, many Dominants are uncomfortable pushing the limits on pain.  As such, this needs to be discussed in advance to make sure everyone remains in thier own comfort zones.

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